Tegan and Sara – Alligator (Toro Y Moi Remix)

Say, you’re two indie Canadian identical lesbian twins and you produce a really good album back in 2009 and can’t necessarily be bothered recording any new stuff just yet. What would you do? If those two indie Canadian identical lesbian twins happened to be Canada’s identical lesbian indie twins and teenage-boy-fantasy stalwarts Tegan and Sara, I’ve got pretty good money riding on the fact that you’ll commission seventeen remixes of one of the great songs on that album (2009′s ‘Sainthood’) by a variety of hipsters and then sit back and watch the royalties (or part thereof) roll in. Which is, if you follow my sardonic train of thought, exactly what one of J’s least favourite acts of the last couple of years (I went to him, enthused about this track, and he replied, mumbling, with something along the lines of ‘not those lesbos (sic) again’. Which is not to say that One A Day doesn’t love lesbians. Because we do. We love everyone. Equally. But probably lesbians a little bit more.

Anyway, say you’re a budding blogger with a faithful readership who want to hear good music and you’re presented with what is essentially an unnecessarily large number of remixes of a particular track on which to post. What would you do? Well, if you were me, you’d pick this one by Chazwick Bundick (someone in Toro Y Moi’s family’s got a sick sense for unusual names + assonance) because he represents one of the lesser-known collaborators (apparently TegSa have friends in high places like TV On The Radio’s Dave Sitek, Four Tet’s Four Tet and the unstoppable remix kingz Passion Pit) and you kind of dig his christian name. More to the point, you pick it because it reminds you of a funky lounge bar you once went to in Playa Del Carmen where every woman was wearing stilettos and plunging necklines and at 13, looking into the pool bordering the bar, it was the coolest night of your life to date. But that’s another story…

Why pick any of those 17 remixes? Because I really dig the idea of alligator tears (although hear in Aus, I think we’d be more inclined to label them ‘crocodile tears’). The expression, denoting an insincere display of emotion, comes from an ancient anecdote that crocodiles cry in order to lure their prey. Being the highly sensitive character I am, I love the idea of manipulating your emotions to further your own purposes. While I am yet to master the art of crying on demand (which brother Z conquered at an early age – thus the constant stream of reprimand from the parents for insignificant punches and pinches), it is one skill (along with rediscovering my childhood ability to hold my breath until I fainted when I wasn’t enjoying myself) that I would sincerely like to rediscover. For the moment, without the ability to turn on the waterworks or drop unconscious to the floor in the face of a choice of thirteen essay questions none of which I can be bothered attempting, this well-executed Cafe Del Mar-ish remix will have to serve me…. Imagining delegating questions to my thirteen favourite academics. Fuck, wish I was a Canadian lesbian.

Tegan and Sara – Alligator (Toro Y Moi Remix)

Get more Toro love and original cuts .

In a totally unrelated development, here is a new, freaky, M.I.A song. She can write an essay.

M.I.A – Born Free